Boys will be boys

Every once in a while it hits me that I am a mother to three boys.  Three boys who will become three teenage boys who will become three young men, who will hopefully become three mature, well-mannered, morally upstanding, confident, courageous, and kind men.  This, when broken down like that, seems like a pretty tall order to fill.  I have been entrusted with the job of raising these boys to be brothers, husbands, fathers, and uncles.  Often it is pretty daunting.  There seems to be a lack of real men in this country these days.  Men who mean what they say, say what they believe, and believe in things that end up making the world a better place.  So how do I go about this, as a mother in this day and age?

So what is the deal?  Why aren’t there many men these days?  What has happened to our society that boys just don’t grow up?  I don’t know.  I do know that I see a lot of moms who don’t let their kids, boys and girls a like, take responsibility for themselves.  Here is an example.  My 4 year old is perfectly capable of putting his clothes away once they are clean (folding is another story, but it will come).  I mean, he gets dressed on his own, he knows where to GET the clothes he wears, hence he should totally know where to put them when they are freshly cleaned and folded.  So I let him do this job.  My older two are folding and putting away their own clothes.  Pretty soon they will be washing them too.  Yet I know there are grown men out there who have no idea how to wash a load of laundry let alone fold it.  Why?  Why do moms feel the need to baby their babies for so long? 

I will admit that I am guilty of babying my babies in some ways.  I fear they will get hurt doing certain things but then remember that stitches and broken bones heal and it is kind of a right of passage for kids, especially boys.   I don’t ever want my children to experience pain like that, but I know they will and I know they will survive and hopefully have a good story to tell at the end of it all.  I also know that I could do more when it comes to teaching them manners and etiquette.  It hits me most meals when they wipe their mouths with the backs of their hands and half sit half stand at the table, or talk with food in their mouths.  I sometimes think, what will a future girlfriend’s mother think if this young man does this at her table?  I am suddenly filled with dread and want to immediately send them to charm school, or whatever boys attend to learn manners.  But of course I can teach them these things msyelf, as can Joe, but why is it that we have to teach them?  Do we not do these things ourselves?  I have been trying to be a good example but with boys that is kind of up to the dad.  He must teach them the wonderous trick of opening a door for a lady and how that one simple act will bring him praise and adoration, or pulling out a chair, or standing when a lady leaves the room, or just using a napkin appropriately!  Learning how to shake a hand and look people in the eye when you speak and to walk with confidence and purpose.  As tough as we want them to be, boys are also precious gifts that need to be nurtured in ways that I am not always confident.  But then I look at Joe, my amazing husband, who has never, not once, in 12 years of marriage left the seat up, or burped at the able (or any time for that matter), and is such a wonderful example for my boys that my heart is suddenly at ease.

So, I think that we will be ok.  I pray for my boys each day, that they will be happy, and confident, and have joy unimaginable and will know how to love unconditionally and will also know how to stand up for themselves and others.  I know they will be successful in whatever they choose to do with their lives and I also know that for whatever reason God chose Joe and I to prepare them for the world.  They truly are gifts and I love them all so completely that to think of life without them just isn’t possible.  I know it existed, but that life is so far away from our lives now that it almost seems like a dream.  These boys, these forces of nature, have so changed our lives that I can’t and won’t think of what life was like before.  Children change the direction of our lives and start us on a new adventure that is so amazing it is hard to describe.  I thank God daily for my three blessings and while I have my share of challenging days, the challenges are so worth it.